Connect to Communicate better
Before my career as a developer, I was in sales. I was selling office products and supplies, like Dunder Mifflin. We were taught to look around the customer's office. Ask about their family and interests. Search for ways to connect with them.
In 16 Invaluable Laws of Communication, John Maxwell explains how the connection is foundational. “Communication is all about connecting with people. If you can’t connect with others, you can’t communicate effectively.”
Essentially, we were to connect with them. Connection comes in a few ways. Even introverted developers need to learn this. Let’s go over a few ways to bring that forth.
Authentic
Be yourself. It is basic but many of us have violated it. We see a great speaker or influencer and try to copy it.
The authentic self is the soul made visible. -Sarah Ban Breathnach
Present
Focus on the person you are talking to. If you find yourself looking at your phone you are not present. Put it away. Listen.
Question
Periodically ask questions. Please make sure you are on the same page with them. It shows you are listening and checks if you understand.
Boundaries
Dr Henry Cloud has a great book on Boundaries. He shares how they impact our relationships. The same goes for conversations. If you find something is off-limits respect that.
Time
Be mindful of their time. If they say they have ten minutes respect that. Wrap things up.
To sum this up, be your authentic self with others. Focus on them and ask questions. Lastly, respect their boundaries and time. These will help you connect with someone.